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 Time to end my 2010.
Thursday, January 6, 2011 @ 4:44 AM
I guess its time to post something again ! Maybe i shall stop hanging on to 2010 and look forward to 2011, although the stress and work level is like x2 but hellllll...
What to say about 2010?
Im really happy to have seen friends go into army and change their lives, while i am still stuck at TP, i have made full use of my time, not in terms of studies definitely, sad to say my grades are still dropping. I got to motivate myself !
This has been a long and hectic year, but thanks to friends and bros all around we've seen each other through, hard times, cheerful times, lazy times and chiong-sua times. HTHT sessions were like per weekly basis with different groups of friends. So interesting, it is so difficult to juggle between so many friends, ESC, studies and Family. But count family out, cause i believe i have the best i would have wanted, ultimate freedom, but i don't abuse it cause i still take care of them !
From the start of the year, i've never thought of running ESC is such a chore, so much stuff to do and care, its mentally torturing, sometimes physically too. Its not difficult to play around, but when seriousness gets in, we kick ass. I believe i have changed a lot, not that i want to, but under circumstances how can a person not grow? Sigh. Sometimes thinking shallower, on the surface, is one which one can sleep the most sound. But if these have not happened, we would not have made others sleep soundly.
The feelings of life is sincere yet shortlived.
Just thinking of those we've went through together and what we've went through, i think i have no regrets. This is the point of my life, where i've made so much decisions on my own, i've learnt how to stand on my feet and walk towards my destination, i've learnt to fall, i've learnt how to pick up my speed at times and wait for people at others.
When i've seen my own work and design all around, i feel so happy and proud, but the greatest satisfaction is when people enjoy looking at it, or when i do it for people, they appreciate it, sometimes even if it doesn't turn out well, they give words of encouragement, isn't this what reality is about? Sometimes reality is a bitch.
I will never change.
About relationship,
Its been a very long time since my last and i've been waiting to settle down, just slow down the pace of life and enjoy while i can. Sometimes things are so busy and so rough that the road seems like a mine zone, but yet we're all so ready to die, we're all so ready to move forward, and pooffffff, now i have one again, after 1 year. I remember 1 year, or maybe it should be counted as 1 and 4 months ago, few weeks before my birthday, i got the greatest present of my life. Life seem so slim yet it doesn't feel so difficult to just fall through and move.
You may slow down, but you must never stop.
Now i've got my Fx3, though i can't really do as much as i can last time, i will try my best to put in my all, I'll try to irritate you as much as possible, listen to you rant, but you got to open up. Im still waiting ! But i have a lot of thoughts in my mind already, a lot of places which i want to bring you to, a lot of things i want to do with you, although time spent is not much, or rather really short, or most of the times there are other people around. I believe i've made the right choice and i will keep moving forward, will you do it with me? Im prepared to go through everything and anything. I would just wish to see that smile. Hope it is not too much to ask for. Although communication is an issue, but i hope that this will just fall through like that. Im fighting, im fighting my way through and its no easy feat. But all is worth it. As long as you are (:
ESC is the best club i've ever been in, re-running is a tough and might be the most important decision i might ever make this year, but i would rather procrastinate. Running this year is so painful, it really was. The sacrifice was humongous, but the rewards were extremely sweet. It is so stressful, to give up on this and that, when people look at you and treat you differently, when you just want to be normal. The responsibility to shoulder also negates the want to be lazy, the want to procrastinate, the want to have fun, the ability to smile out. But we all smiled inside. Everything is planned so systematically, so orderly and with such professionalism i believe we would have already won. But all misunderstandings are just of minor mistakes, of minor overlook and of wrong decision. I've learnt so much, so much that i feel that im not myself anymore. But i will continue to walk forward, at the end, i would want to see the face of everyone, the satisfaction, the goosebumps that everyone would receive in the end, whether or not we reach that trophy, im satisfied. Words are hard to say but the true inner feelings is true, its so pure and innocent that it will not bear to see another suffer. The care and concern, the lessons of true life, not buyable by money. At this age, who doesn't want to party? Who doesn't want to drink and get drunk, who doesn't want to work and earn that extra pocket money, who doesn't want to be carefree, who doesn't want to have a fun and interesting rs?
Its so fucking difficult to choose to be selfish, when all you want is to be self-less.
I miss so much, i miss the usuals where we will drink and hangout and talk about anything, so carefree, so much fun. I still remembered our last time, hopefully its not our LAST LAST time together, but that time, i cried, up til now i wonder why, is it because of the change of environment or the change in everyone, you guys said that i've changed and that is a good thing, but im starting to feel that i've changed into something else, it might be good, but i've lost things that i don't want to as well.
I've let down a lot of people, but i've seen so many smiles, its almost so difficult to identify whats genuine and whats for show now. I just wish, everything lies a secret.
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who i think i am
Mathew/Matdiu/Mattuce is the name, I study in Temasek Polytechnic
18 and counting.
Anyways 
:D
Time to end my 2010.
Thursday, January 6, 2011 @ 4:44 AM
I guess its time to post something again ! Maybe i shall stop hanging on to 2010 and look forward to 2011, although the stress and work level is like x2 but hellllll...
What to say about 2010?
Im really happy to have seen friends go into army and change their lives, while i am still stuck at TP, i have made full use of my time, not in terms of studies definitely, sad to say my grades are still dropping. I got to motivate myself !
This has been a long and hectic year, but thanks to friends and bros all around we've seen each other through, hard times, cheerful times, lazy times and chiong-sua times. HTHT sessions were like per weekly basis with different groups of friends. So interesting, it is so difficult to juggle between so many friends, ESC, studies and Family. But count family out, cause i believe i have the best i would have wanted, ultimate freedom, but i don't abuse it cause i still take care of them !
From the start of the year, i've never thought of running ESC is such a chore, so much stuff to do and care, its mentally torturing, sometimes physically too. Its not difficult to play around, but when seriousness gets in, we kick ass. I believe i have changed a lot, not that i want to, but under circumstances how can a person not grow? Sigh. Sometimes thinking shallower, on the surface, is one which one can sleep the most sound. But if these have not happened, we would not have made others sleep soundly.
The feelings of life is sincere yet shortlived.
Just thinking of those we've went through together and what we've went through, i think i have no regrets. This is the point of my life, where i've made so much decisions on my own, i've learnt how to stand on my feet and walk towards my destination, i've learnt to fall, i've learnt how to pick up my speed at times and wait for people at others.
When i've seen my own work and design all around, i feel so happy and proud, but the greatest satisfaction is when people enjoy looking at it, or when i do it for people, they appreciate it, sometimes even if it doesn't turn out well, they give words of encouragement, isn't this what reality is about? Sometimes reality is a bitch.
I will never change.
About relationship,
Its been a very long time since my last and i've been waiting to settle down, just slow down the pace of life and enjoy while i can. Sometimes things are so busy and so rough that the road seems like a mine zone, but yet we're all so ready to die, we're all so ready to move forward, and pooffffff, now i have one again, after 1 year. I remember 1 year, or maybe it should be counted as 1 and 4 months ago, few weeks before my birthday, i got the greatest present of my life. Life seem so slim yet it doesn't feel so difficult to just fall through and move.
You may slow down, but you must never stop.
Now i've got my Fx3, though i can't really do as much as i can last time, i will try my best to put in my all, I'll try to irritate you as much as possible, listen to you rant, but you got to open up. Im still waiting ! But i have a lot of thoughts in my mind already, a lot of places which i want to bring you to, a lot of things i want to do with you, although time spent is not much, or rather really short, or most of the times there are other people around. I believe i've made the right choice and i will keep moving forward, will you do it with me? Im prepared to go through everything and anything. I would just wish to see that smile. Hope it is not too much to ask for. Although communication is an issue, but i hope that this will just fall through like that. Im fighting, im fighting my way through and its no easy feat. But all is worth it. As long as you are (:
ESC is the best club i've ever been in, re-running is a tough and might be the most important decision i might ever make this year, but i would rather procrastinate. Running this year is so painful, it really was. The sacrifice was humongous, but the rewards were extremely sweet. It is so stressful, to give up on this and that, when people look at you and treat you differently, when you just want to be normal. The responsibility to shoulder also negates the want to be lazy, the want to procrastinate, the want to have fun, the ability to smile out. But we all smiled inside. Everything is planned so systematically, so orderly and with such professionalism i believe we would have already won. But all misunderstandings are just of minor mistakes, of minor overlook and of wrong decision. I've learnt so much, so much that i feel that im not myself anymore. But i will continue to walk forward, at the end, i would want to see the face of everyone, the satisfaction, the goosebumps that everyone would receive in the end, whether or not we reach that trophy, im satisfied. Words are hard to say but the true inner feelings is true, its so pure and innocent that it will not bear to see another suffer. The care and concern, the lessons of true life, not buyable by money. At this age, who doesn't want to party? Who doesn't want to drink and get drunk, who doesn't want to work and earn that extra pocket money, who doesn't want to be carefree, who doesn't want to have a fun and interesting rs?
Its so fucking difficult to choose to be selfish, when all you want is to be self-less.
I miss so much, i miss the usuals where we will drink and hangout and talk about anything, so carefree, so much fun. I still remembered our last time, hopefully its not our LAST LAST time together, but that time, i cried, up til now i wonder why, is it because of the change of environment or the change in everyone, you guys said that i've changed and that is a good thing, but im starting to feel that i've changed into something else, it might be good, but i've lost things that i don't want to as well.
I've let down a lot of people, but i've seen so many smiles, its almost so difficult to identify whats genuine and whats for show now. I just wish, everything lies a secret.
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